One of the toughest challenges in leadership isn't about strategy, growth, or profits — it's about managing people. Specifically, it's about handling underperforming or disruptive employees. Many leaders tolerate such behavior for too long, often driven by fear or insecurity. This tolerance creates a ripple effect, damaging morale, reducing productivity, and ultimately eroding the organization's culture.

When leaders feel uncertain about their position or authority, they frequently face two unappealing choices:

1. Set boundaries and risk disrupting team dynamics or losing valuable employees.

2. Avoid setting boundaries, which leads to tolerating toxic behaviors that can spread like wildfire.

Both choices have consequences, but only one aligns with effective and sustainable leadership: the courage to set and enforce healthy boundaries.

The Psychology Behind Tolerating Bad Behavior

The reluctance to address lousy behavior is deeply rooted in psychological fears. Dr. Brené Brown, in Dare to Lead (2018), explains that many leaders fear being seen as "too harsh" or worry about the potential backlash from confronting difficult situations. This fear often results in avoidance, but Brown emphasizes that "clear is kind"—avoiding issues doesn't foster trust or respect; it erodes them.

Leaders often fall into these traps for several reasons:

• Fear of losing talent: Especially in a tight labor market.

• Concerns about team morale: Believing that addressing one person's behavior could upset the group.

• Uncertainty about next steps: Not knowing how to replace or manage the fallout of removing an employee.

However, avoiding these conversations doesn't protect the team; it compromises them. Research by Porath and Pearson (2013), published in the Harvard Business Review, found that incivility and disruptive behaviors in the workplace diminish productivity and foster employee disengagement.

The Cost of Inaction

Tolerating lousy behavior has psychological and organizational consequences. On a personal level, it leads to emotional exhaustion and cognitive dissonance. Leaders may feel stuck—torn between their values and the decisions they fail to make. On an organizational level, the ripple effects include:

• Demotivated teams: High-performing employees may lose trust in leadership and eventually leave.

• Reduced quality of work: Disruption and conflict pull focus from strategic goals.

• Damaged culture: Tolerating bad behavior conveys that accountability doesn't matter.

The Power of Setting Boundaries

Boundaries are critical for effective leadership. In his book Boundaries for Leaders (2013), Dr. Henry Cloud describes boundaries as "property lines" that help define responsibility, accountability, and expectations. They protect the leader's focus and energy while fostering a culture of trust and clarity. Without boundaries, leaders become overwhelmed and reactive, losing sight of their purpose.

Here's how leaders can apply the power of healthy boundaries:

• Define Expectations

Clarity is the cornerstone of effective boundaries. As Cloud notes, ambiguity breeds conflict. When someone joins your team, establish clear performance standards and behavioral expectations. This eliminates uncertainty and sets a foundation for accountability.

• Address Issues Early

When ignored, small issues can escalate into more significant crises. Leaders who are secure in their authority address concerns as they arise, using constructive feedback to guide improvement. Brown's research highlights that difficult conversations when handled with clarity and empathy, build trust rather than destroy it.

• Prioritize the Team Over the Individual

The needs of the many outweigh the comfort of the few. A disruptive employee can overshadow the contributions of an entire team, and tolerating such behavior sends a dangerous message. Setting boundaries means making decisions that protect the group's well-being, even when uncomfortable.

• Communicate Consequences

Healthy boundaries are only meaningful with follow-through. If an employee crosses a line or fails to meet expectations, clearly articulate and enforce the consequences. This reinforces fairness and builds trust within the team.

• Maintain Emotional Detachment

Leaders often struggle to separate empathy from enabling. However, as Cloud reminds us, boundaries are not about being unkind but about creating space for mutual respect. Emotional detachment allows leaders to make fair and rational decisions.

The Psychological Benefits of Boundaries

Boundaries protect the organization and safeguard the leader's mental well-being. Psychologists have long emphasized that boundaries are essential for preventing burnout and fostering resilience. They provide:

• Clarity: Roles, expectations, and limits are well-defined, reducing ambiguity.

• Respect: Teams respect leaders who are consistent and fair.

• Focus: Leaders can channel energy into strategic priorities rather than managing preventable conflicts.

• Freedom: Healthy boundaries prevent leaders from becoming prisoners of others' expectations.

Moving Forward with Courage

Leadership requires more than vision—it requires the courage to make tough decisions. Tolerating bad behavior may seem effortless in the short term but undermines long-term success. Setting boundaries, while initially uncomfortable, fosters a culture of respect, accountability, and growth.

As Dr. Cloud aptly says, "Leaders get what they create and what they allow." By setting clear, firm, and respectful boundaries, leaders protect their teams and build an environment where everyone—including themselves—can thrive.